I did a thing.
No wonder they hate us, we are everything they want to be.
1.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
hard.
2.
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
3.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
4.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
5.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
6.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
7.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
8.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
9.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
10.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
hard.
“
| — | Rachel Wiley (via howweknewit) |
everything i love about hetalia in one photoset
i’ve finally found it… my favourite hetalia fan art<3
EXCUSE ME I HAVE NEVER LOVED A HETALIA POST MORE EVER
You are the PKMN FANDOM. You like CATCHING SMALL MONSTERS and MAKING THEM BATTLE. Several years ago, you would have said you wished to CATCH ‘EM ALL, before you realized this was an utterly IMPOSSIBLE GOAL.
You have been around for a VERY LONG TIME, watching the birth and death of many fandoms. As the years passed, you seem to have grown MORE AND MORE EYE-CATCHING, yet you claim to feel UNCOMFORTABLE WITH CHANGE.
You still hope to BE THE BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS. It will forever be your ultimate goal to be a POKEMON MASTER. You utterly REFUSE TO DIE until this goal is achieved. Not like it seemed that you could die in the first place.
Now then, are you a BOY or a GIRL?
It’s probably been done, but I couldn’t help it. c:
Have a fab, androgynous Pokemon Fandom!
(This is wonderful.)
Good morning!
Sir, no, it’s 9p.
—-
For Zeph. I hope it helps you cheer up a little, despite how shitty my art is.
I’m gomen.
I love you baby.
I just wanted feathery otp
I did not know you would include my favourite meme
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my fandom gave to me
TWELVE SHIPS A-SAILING
ELEVEN SHIP WARS BLAZING
TEN SALLIES RAGING
NINE AUTHORS PLOTTING
EIGHT SHOWS IN LIMBO
SEVEN SMUT SCENES STEAMING
SIX FANGIRLS FLAILING
FIVE OTPS
FOUR FAN ARTISTS
THREE RAGEQUITS
TWO NEW PAIRINGS
AND ONE PERSON CRUSHED BY THEIR FEELS
if you dont sing this
at least in your head
i wont finish this sentence
Not unless one guy’s got the other in an upside-down bear hug, sweetie. Otherwise you have to stop walking to blow each other.
It’s definitely going to be weird watching all the gay people literally fucking in the streets. Just scissoring and buttfucking right there on the sidewalk, giving all that oral sex to each other up against lampposts and stuff.
Because that’s what marriage is all about. I know because I am privileged to have had the option for heterosexual unions my entire life, and that’s one of the coolest parts. The first thing I did when I put the ring on Natalie’s finger was to take her out in the middle of Cherry street and just bury my face in her knickers. It was a little weird because some other people had just gotten married and they were already fucking on top of someone’s car, and another couple from a nearby church were doing some shit with rubber toys I still don’t fully understand, but we tried our best to ignore them and focus on the very public, totally legal sex we were about to have.
The cool thing about America is that when you get married here it supersedes all indecent exposure and lewd conduct laws, and you can basically just walk into a preschool and start sucking on your husband’s dick or ejaculating all over your wife’s hair right in front of the kids, or go down on each other in the toothpaste aisle at Target.
It’s awesome, and I’m extremely happy to share that awesomeness with many fine, gay Americans thanks to the progressive attitudes of people in several key states.
See you on the sidewalks, gays! And you’d better not have any clothes on, you married sons of bitches! Live nude totally public fucking! Wooooooo!
/
